I'm F*cking Jaded...

When I first started this blog I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to achieve with it.  Was I going to write about sex, relationships, pop culture? In my mind I'm perfectly capable of being the Black Carrie Bradshaw, but I have since come to the conclusion that this was a lame notion and dismissed it with a quickness.  I ultimately decided I would just use it as a public journal to share my thoughts.  Few people will read it, but at least I have an outlet to vent.  I always thought diaries were pointless.  I mean, you sit and collect your thoughts on paper and then what, go back and read them?  Anywhoo, I guess I just wanted to start off explaining the purpose behind this regularly scheduled discourse.

Back to the lecture at hand.

I'm f*king jaded.  It's not just me either.  I'm not quite sure if this is something that happens with age and experience but I know I'm not the only one around who feels completely unimpressed with what this world has to offer.  It's funny because I'm sure if you were to pull someone out of the 17th century and plant them in 2011 society they would shit themselves.  With technology evolving literally every second you get used to everything being done faster, easier, and in a more convenient manner.  But that's purely on the technology front.  People don't seem to fascinate me much anymore either.  I think someone could show up at my doorstep and play the guitar for me with only their toes and all I could do is give a blank stare.  It's like I've seen too much and yet I haven't seen much at all.  People are tattooing their foreheads with cartoons.  Women are injecting their buttocks with silicone.  Nine year-olds are having sex.  For all I know, all of the aforementioned things could be happening at the same time this very moment.

I have discussions with my friends about how I'm not even sure I want to be married because the fantasy no longer exists.  Disney lied to me.  All those fairy tales that little girls watch are clearly a crock of shit.  They don't tell you that after Cinderella gets married the Prince fathers a child out of wedlock, and has to pay child support.  They don't tell you that after Sleeping Beauty wakes up, she marries the Prince, then he leaves her for a hot young blonde.  You have to figure this out between the ages of 20-30 and even later for some deluded women.  I've seen broken marriages, cheating, abuse, and pure misery up close and personal through the eyes of loved ones, so you'll have to excuse me if I don't get excited when being asked out on a date.  Luckily for me, though holding on to my cynicism, I'm generally a happy person.  I try not to let the things that I've seen ruin my sense of optimism.  Actually, I consider myself more of a realist than a cynic.  I just wonder what it will take for me to be wowed by something again.  I mean really and truly dumbfounded and rendered speechless by something.  I haven't felt that way about anything in a long time. 

I just finished reading another blog's post about why Black men prefer not to get married.  One of the reasons highlighted is that men always hold out believing they will find something better.  Therein lies a conundrum.  People are so unimpressed with each other that no matter how great the other person is, after a while they start to think there might be someone better.  There are admittedly tons of options for men, but the argument comes full circle when you think about how being jaded + sense of entitlement = perpetual search for happiness.

All in all, I think the best way to deal with this feeling is to think about what I have to offer the world instead of what it has to offer me.  I am blessed in just about every way and I don't take that for granted.

Stay thirsty my friends.

Let Me Upgrade You...

Women work so hard to make themselves the perfect woman for every man.  Some men complain about having to do the approaching and endure rejection time and time again.  They also lament the pressure of having to make a lot of money, be funny and charming, and all the other things women look for in a man.  That kind of effort pales in comparison to the rigmarole women go through to catch a mate.  Weave, makeup, painful high heels, tight dresses, thongs, manicures, pedicures, and it's all for men.  So my question is, if you meet a man who is great in almost every way ( nice personality, intelligent, ambitious and most of all fairly compatible with you) is there anything wrong with attempting to make minor adjustments to his appearance?  Superficiality notwithstanding, a good man is great but a man with the right amount of "swag" (we need to come up with a new term) can take him from a 6.5 to an 8.  No one can help who they are attracted to, but part of me believes it's wrong for women to count a guy out because he doesn't dress the way you like or carry himself like he's Idris Elba.

Confidence is key.  Confidence is sexy. Both men and women are attracted this quality, so it's clearly a must.  But if a person is a little deficient in the fashion sense department I see nothing wrong with making a few suggestions here and there.  Needless to say, I'm not opposed to a fixer-upper.  You can't change a person, but if they're open to your suggestions, why not give them a little style boost?  I see no issue as long as it does not oppress the essence of who they really are.  Most men use their girlfriends as personal stylists anyway.  I see lots of fixer-uppers.  They often do not know they're a fixer upper though, which is kinda funny.  Moral of the story is, you don't have to let someone with potential go to waste.  Sure they may find someone who loves them just the way they are, but you might love them AND be able to make them better in several ways, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I bet Beyonce picks out Hov's attire, and he picks out her wigs.

Have a great weekend!

Sluts Are Winning...

I have been saying this to my friends for months now, and it seems quite obvious.  There is a new breed of woman running about and it seems quite apparent that women who use their sexuality and who seemingly bring nothing else to the table appear to be reaching new heights of success.  I'm no simpleton, I know that women have been getting over on their looks since the beginning of time, but this is a whole new ball game.  Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose are the first to come to mind.  Yet even your average around the way girl with a phat ass and pretty face seem to be on the come up a lot quicker than some of my more educated female friends.  They marry faster, don't work as hard, and pretty much have the world at their fingertips.  This is not meant as a hateful rant against good-looking women, but it does send a message.  The message is if you're pretty...f*ck school.  I have an advanced degree and you know what, if I had ever thought to use my looks and achieve half of the money and success that Kimmy K has, I would have never have done the extra schooling and become Sallie Mae's bitch.  Again, i'm not hating, I'm just trying to figure out how I can give the daughter I may have someday any real reason to work hard if she's pretty enough not to.  I pray to baby Jesus that my child never releases a sex tape publicly, and I definitely will be disappointed if they choose to forego education and achieve success through their looks alone.

Amber Rose has a reality show coming out...fml