I firmly believe that no matter how intuitive being selfless and attentive may be for you, no one is ever really prepared to be in a situation where you always have to consider someone else in your decision-making. Other than parenthood, or some other scenario where you have taken on the task of caring for a loved one or relative, as an adult your first instinct is to live and problem-solve using your own judgment, and the only person you assume it affects is you.
I was speaking to someone the other day who is nearing 40 and has been single for the past 5 years. She says she thinks her problem is that she is too set in her ways and not only does she not want to make compromises (because she is basically at peace with her flaws), but she doesn't have the patience to deal with anyone else's flaws. Yea... I did not ask her the obvious questions like "aren't you lonely?" or "but who kills the spiders for you?". I know those are things that she has resigned her self to dealing with. The bigger question is, is being that selfish worth it? Do the benefits of independence and acceptance outweigh potential lifelong partnership? I think the answer is only if the lifelong partnership is with someone who is not well suited for you.
" Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."~ Bob Marley
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