Black People Are Extra as Hell and I Love It

If you were to go through my Whatsapp saved photos you would be either utterly appalled or completely amused by it.  The random f*ckery that my girlfriend and I share through messenger is worthy of some judgment.  My phone drive is filled to the brim with memes, Instagram screenshots, and ridiculous tweets because we follow people who like us, appreciate the f*ckery.  I don't care because it's hilarious to me and someone else thought it was hilarious too, that's why it made it's way to these internets. 


But Black people...Black people crack me up.  I swear I can never comprehend racism against Black people because I find humor in most things we do, albeit ignorant (sometimes).  We have such a colorful and ostentatious way of being, as a whole.  We come up with a new slang word every day (I just learned what bando means and am determined to use it) and a new dance every three months, and I am here for it!  I would not want to be any other race.


I just started reading Lena Dunham's new book "Not That Kind of Girl", and I feel like I tapped into the psyche of white people and it's not as funny.  I'm not sure what that says about me.  It's obvious that one reason I cannot relate is because of cultural differences.  But it's almost like Black people don't seem to have to try so hard to be ridiculous and carefree and funny.  Except Kevin Hart.  Kevin Hart tries too hard.

7 Things I learned about being natural

I get it.  You're natural and proud.  You want people to respect you and still think you're beautiful even though you do not meet the European standard of beauty.  Didn't India Arie tell us we are not our hair???  By obsessing over hair you are actually doing nothing for the acceptance of black beauty.  I think what makes black women so beautiful is the fact that we come in all shades, body types, and hair textures.  I think many would agree that these distinctive traits are what makes us physically the most exotic and unique in comparison to all other races.  But you want to tell Black women that the only way to look is the way "God intended"?  I couldn't disagree with this sentiment more.

Furthermore, I don't believe it's healthy or productive to care what white people or anyone else thinks about your hair.  I don't think any other race of people (other minorities included) is sitting around saying golly, this group of people doesn't seem to appreciate my pale skin, maybe I should campaign against anybody who decides to tan.  Within every race and culture there is an acceptance of traditional standards of beauty as well as evolved, modern attitudes toward beauty.  As society has become more progressive I think the natural evolution is toward celebration of all hair types.

Perhaps I am an idealist.  But I am not one to tell people what to do with their hair.  I'm off my soapbox now.  LOL

As I approach one year of being relaxer free here are 7 things I've learned:

1) I probably would not have made this transition if I were not in a relationship.  I was not in one when I started, and I felt like I signed up for this for all the right reasons, but when it became difficult, and when I felt uncomfortable in my skin and not as pretty and not like "me" I didn't turn back because I met someone that thought I was beautiful either way and very supportive.  That helped.

2) Surprisingly, I became less of a product junkie.  The natural world is ridden with hair journey blogs, youtube product reviews and tutorials, and articles about what products work the best for your particular hair type.  Because one of my tenets was I would only make this transition if I could find a way to make it just as low-maintenance as when I used a relaxer, I made the decision to stick to one product line at a time.

3) It's not as high maintenance as people suggest.  The level of maintenance is really based on your style preferences. Obviously doing a twistout every night seems more time consuming than just doing a wrap every night, but if you're lazy like me you do a few and still obtain the look you want.  Don't get me wrong, there are days I spend a lot of time on it and still don't get it to look how I want, but I had those days with relaxed hair too.  Overall I spend less time on it than when I was flat ironing it every morning or pin curling it at night.

4) Having natural hair does change people's perception of you.  Even if you know you're generally accepted as attractive, you get the general sense that people have their minds made up about the kind of person you are, what beliefs you have, what kind of men you are attracted to.  You are automatically presumed to be less superficial, which oddly is a turn-off for a lot of men.

5) Coconut oil is magical

6) Natural Nazi's are annoying.  As stated above, although I appreciate people who have a passion for authenticity, you don't get to tell people what they should do with their hair. Stop it.

7) Confidence is key! I won't shame anyone who feels more attractive with straight hair.  After all, it is a personal preference.  If you can't rock it with confidence, don't do it!  I still struggle with this at times, but it's getting better :-)